Rituals for Everyday Living
From 2016 to 2018 I served on the Shechinah Council for At The Well: Modern Wellness Rooted in Jewish Wisdom. During that time I contributed these rituals to the monthly "Moon Manuals." I am inspired by the practice of ritual to lift up our everyday moments, to help us find meaning in the mundane and holiness right where we are.
This meditation was written and recorded in 2016, before I began using more gender neutral language. The recording of the meditation below refers to the Inner Warrior with she/her pronouns. Please replace them with whatever pronouns fit your Inner Warrior.
In her book, Kabbalah Month by Month, Melinda Ribner explains that the month of Tammuz is a time to, “reach deep inside to muster our own resources and see if we have the inner strength and discernment to stay focused and on the spiritual path.” Tammuz is about maintaining the endurance to make it through the heat of the summer, and manage the heat of our passions. In addition to its Babylonian roots, the word “tammuz” has Hebrew resonances as well: it means “the completeness (or innocence) of strength.” The essential challenge of Tammuz is to meet the external imbalance (longer days, shorter nights), with internal balance - to be what Miriam Maron calls a “Visionary Warrior,” by maintaining our boundaries and caring for our needs this month. The following guided meditation aims to help us identify those inner resources and meet our inner Visionary Warrior, that we may acknowledge the fullness of our own strength. (You will want materials with which to journal immediately following at the ready).
In her book, Kabbalah Month by Month, Melinda Ribner explains that the month of Tammuz is a time to, “reach deep inside to muster our own resources and see if we have the inner strength and discernment to stay focused and on the spiritual path.” Tammuz is about maintaining the endurance to make it through the heat of the summer, and manage the heat of our passions. In addition to its Babylonian roots, the word “tammuz” has Hebrew resonances as well: it means “the completeness (or innocence) of strength.” The essential challenge of Tammuz is to meet the external imbalance (longer days, shorter nights), with internal balance - to be what Miriam Maron calls a “Visionary Warrior,” by maintaining our boundaries and caring for our needs this month. The following guided meditation aims to help us identify those inner resources and meet our inner Visionary Warrior, that we may acknowledge the fullness of our own strength. (You will want materials with which to journal immediately following at the ready).
Av: Little Rituals of Mindful Loving
In an effort to make sense of the destruction of the Temple, the ancient rabbis do what our people have done for centuries: they tell us a story. The story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza tells the tale of two men, too full of pride to stop their hatred for each other from resulting in a national disaster. The hatred begins with a petty feud, and escalates from there as one wronged party uses his power to feed lies to the governing Romans, who then destroy the Temple. The rabbis teach that “senseless hatred” was seed of this evil, a seed that took root and bloomed into the fires of destruction which ultimately burned the Second Temple to the ground.
When the Temple stood, it was considered to be the meeting place between humans and God. Later kabbalists, mystics who set out to find God in a world without the Temple, came to understand that human beings, not any man-made structure, are the place where heaven and earth kiss. It is our job, then, when faced with senseless hatred, to remember that our very bodies are vessels for holiness, and that our actions can either facilitate Divine Love, or unleash the destructive powers of senseless hatred.
Designing your own Ritual for Mindful Loving:
Ritual helps us navigate the ephemeral and make concrete that which is theoretical, or passing. We use what I would call Big Ritual to guide us through life’s major milestone events ( beginnings, endings, life, death, etc…). We use ritual to ground us in the present moment and to make significant that which would otherwise be fleeting. There is power in those big moments of shift, but there is perhaps a more stable power in elevating the mundane tasks of the day-to-day from routine to Ritual.
In this exercise we will uncover power of the Little Rituals that we already do on a daily basis, in order to grow in love (of the self and the other) so that there is no place for the destructive power of senseless hatred in our minds and bodies.
2) Partners will then ask the following questions:
3) Partners offer help in reflecting upon which of these daily routines could be elevated from “task” to “Little Ritual" for the month of Av. Some thoughts to consider in choosing:
4) Ritualize it: Every day, for the month of Av, turn this task into a ritual. Do it with regularity and with the care you would afford a Big Ritual. You might want to consider a sensory change to your space as well (dim or brighten the lights, burn some incense, play some soft music, make music of your own). At the end of this month we begin preparations for the High Holy Days. Let this month of Little Ritual ground and expand your heart center so that you are more loving to yourself and others, and better prepared for the soul-accounting of the next New Moon, while navigating the rocky emotional terrain of Av.
When the Temple stood, it was considered to be the meeting place between humans and God. Later kabbalists, mystics who set out to find God in a world without the Temple, came to understand that human beings, not any man-made structure, are the place where heaven and earth kiss. It is our job, then, when faced with senseless hatred, to remember that our very bodies are vessels for holiness, and that our actions can either facilitate Divine Love, or unleash the destructive powers of senseless hatred.
Designing your own Ritual for Mindful Loving:
Ritual helps us navigate the ephemeral and make concrete that which is theoretical, or passing. We use what I would call Big Ritual to guide us through life’s major milestone events ( beginnings, endings, life, death, etc…). We use ritual to ground us in the present moment and to make significant that which would otherwise be fleeting. There is power in those big moments of shift, but there is perhaps a more stable power in elevating the mundane tasks of the day-to-day from routine to Ritual.
In this exercise we will uncover power of the Little Rituals that we already do on a daily basis, in order to grow in love (of the self and the other) so that there is no place for the destructive power of senseless hatred in our minds and bodies.
- Sit with a partner and take turns describing the unfolding of an average day in your life.
- Make particular note of anything that you do on a daily basis (brushing your teeth, making the bed, preparing food, walking the dog) - the more mundane the better.
2) Partners will then ask the following questions:
- With what attitude do you typically approach these tasks?
- How do you feel on days when you forget to, or otherwise aren’t able to complete these tasks?
- If you could get rid of one of these tasks per day, which would it be?
- If you could luxuriate in/take your time with one of these tasks, which would it be?
3) Partners offer help in reflecting upon which of these daily routines could be elevated from “task” to “Little Ritual" for the month of Av. Some thoughts to consider in choosing:
- Which of these tasks is particularly grounding (helps me get out of my head and into my body)?
- Which is particularly softening (helps me to relax and ease up on the controls)?
- Which helps me be more loving to myself (bonus points if mind, body, and soul are more easily aligned within one particular task.)
4) Ritualize it: Every day, for the month of Av, turn this task into a ritual. Do it with regularity and with the care you would afford a Big Ritual. You might want to consider a sensory change to your space as well (dim or brighten the lights, burn some incense, play some soft music, make music of your own). At the end of this month we begin preparations for the High Holy Days. Let this month of Little Ritual ground and expand your heart center so that you are more loving to yourself and others, and better prepared for the soul-accounting of the next New Moon, while navigating the rocky emotional terrain of Av.