"I googled ‘Independent Rabbi’ but the internet didn’t know what that was. What does it mean?”
I was delighted to receive the above question from a Spiritual Direction client & to know that my self-proclaimed moniker was unknown in the Googlesphere. It came to me one morning as I was thinking about my website, and how to even describe the work that I do. The term “Freelance Rabbi,” didn’t feel right for me. As I went to don my favorite Powell’s Books t-shirt, I saw the phrase “Legendary & Independent” above a proud & strong Timberwolf. That’s it. That’s me. “Legendary” is not the goal - for some rabbis it is, but it is not mine. Independent sure is, though.
Independent means I do not lead a community. I do not coordinate events. I am not in charge of anyone’s schedule, except my own. I do not answer emails about things that do not directly involve me and my knowledge base. And most importantly, I am not a Toxic Handler, “a manager who voluntarily shoulders the sadness, frustration, bitterness, and anger that are endemic to organizational life.” (Harvard Business Review July-August 1999)
Being an Independent Rabbi means that I do: officiate weddings, tutor young people in becoming B-Mitzvah, work with conversion students, 1:1 Jewish learning & Spiritual Direction. This way of working and serving humanity is much more akin to how I envision the shtetl rebbe spending their time: in deep thought and reflection with individuals and families around the impactful and joyous times & walking with them along the tricky and sticky path of being human.
I was delighted to receive the above question from a Spiritual Direction client & to know that my self-proclaimed moniker was unknown in the Googlesphere. It came to me one morning as I was thinking about my website, and how to even describe the work that I do. The term “Freelance Rabbi,” didn’t feel right for me. As I went to don my favorite Powell’s Books t-shirt, I saw the phrase “Legendary & Independent” above a proud & strong Timberwolf. That’s it. That’s me. “Legendary” is not the goal - for some rabbis it is, but it is not mine. Independent sure is, though.
Independent means I do not lead a community. I do not coordinate events. I am not in charge of anyone’s schedule, except my own. I do not answer emails about things that do not directly involve me and my knowledge base. And most importantly, I am not a Toxic Handler, “a manager who voluntarily shoulders the sadness, frustration, bitterness, and anger that are endemic to organizational life.” (Harvard Business Review July-August 1999)
Being an Independent Rabbi means that I do: officiate weddings, tutor young people in becoming B-Mitzvah, work with conversion students, 1:1 Jewish learning & Spiritual Direction. This way of working and serving humanity is much more akin to how I envision the shtetl rebbe spending their time: in deep thought and reflection with individuals and families around the impactful and joyous times & walking with them along the tricky and sticky path of being human.
Community Consulting
C.B. has a rather unique set of skills combined with a sentiment that enables them to interact effectively with a broad array of personalities, religions and cultures. This has been demonstrated repeatedly in their role as the mentor to our Interfaith Friendship Committee at Peninsula Temple Beth El in San Mateo California. As Past Co-Chair of the committee, I had the pleasure of working with C.B. for three years expanding and deepening these relationships. Right from the beginning of their tenor they helped focus our efforts by leading us through a visioning process. The mission, strategy and objectives we created together with their guidance have held us in good stead ever since. They have a unique ability to sense when we are on track and when we aren't; and a pleasant way of telling us. C.B. dynamically reached out to the clergy in our coalition and beyond to forge friendships, relationships and effective partnerships. C.B. appreciates our similarities while understanding our differences.
R.H.
C.B. has a rather unique set of skills combined with a sentiment that enables them to interact effectively with a broad array of personalities, religions and cultures. This has been demonstrated repeatedly in their role as the mentor to our Interfaith Friendship Committee at Peninsula Temple Beth El in San Mateo California. As Past Co-Chair of the committee, I had the pleasure of working with C.B. for three years expanding and deepening these relationships. Right from the beginning of their tenor they helped focus our efforts by leading us through a visioning process. The mission, strategy and objectives we created together with their guidance have held us in good stead ever since. They have a unique ability to sense when we are on track and when we aren't; and a pleasant way of telling us. C.B. dynamically reached out to the clergy in our coalition and beyond to forge friendships, relationships and effective partnerships. C.B. appreciates our similarities while understanding our differences.
R.H.
Lifecycle Support
It was 2014, my soon-to-be husband and I are spiritually homeless...we come from a mixed background. In short...back in 2008 an ex-jehovah's witness from Montana meets a half-Jewish/Catholic German/Irish San Franciscan while they are serving jury duty in LA, their new home. Seven years later, we are engaged and would like someone to marry us who we feel exudes the warmth, love and kindness in life that we believe trumps all creeds and pedigrees. Enter Rabbi Souther... That same year of 2014, my Grandma Ruth passed away. A survivor of Nazi Germany, and a soul mate of mine, the sort that so many grandparents can be. After several years of challenging dementia, she had outlived the rabbis and cantors of my youth. My aunt from Oregon said she knows the exactly perfect person. Rabbi Souther had to deal with a pretty complex family. Big personalities. Mixed religions. And years of trying to strike the right balance. She threaded the needle during the funeral with such grace, inspiration and compassion. It was a perfect tribute for my grandma; a lover of her Jewish culture, a believer in getting things done, not exactly reliant on a lot of "God-talk." Family was Grandma's vocation. And so when it came time for our wedding, Josh and I wondered whether it would be possible for Rabbi Souther to conduct a secular wedding for two gay guys they barely know in a different town...their instant answer, "I'd be honored!" ... WOW! In a world so seemingly anxious to draw lines and build fences to provide for the illusion of order, they find spirit and soul in God's creation of the incomprehensible. I often reflect on the earliest teaching about God when I was a child...Jewish or Catholic, they said the same. God is beyond understanding. Yet somewhere along the journey from childhood to adulthood, we seem to box the divine right into that of our physical world; writing rules and theological dictates in black and white... We reduce the wonder into the benignly succinct. Maybe it's easier to teach, to hold on to, to visualize. Yet C.B. has offered us optimism while staring down the unknowing. They can embrace the complexity and be consumed by wonder instead of fear. We are so lucky to have met such an inclusive soul, a spiritual nurturer. My grandma had a favorite expression, "life is not a dress rehearsal, get out there and live it." Without fear and hesitation, Rabbi Souther inspires us to be on the frontlines of life with courage, kindness and love.
K. P.
It was 2014, my soon-to-be husband and I are spiritually homeless...we come from a mixed background. In short...back in 2008 an ex-jehovah's witness from Montana meets a half-Jewish/Catholic German/Irish San Franciscan while they are serving jury duty in LA, their new home. Seven years later, we are engaged and would like someone to marry us who we feel exudes the warmth, love and kindness in life that we believe trumps all creeds and pedigrees. Enter Rabbi Souther... That same year of 2014, my Grandma Ruth passed away. A survivor of Nazi Germany, and a soul mate of mine, the sort that so many grandparents can be. After several years of challenging dementia, she had outlived the rabbis and cantors of my youth. My aunt from Oregon said she knows the exactly perfect person. Rabbi Souther had to deal with a pretty complex family. Big personalities. Mixed religions. And years of trying to strike the right balance. She threaded the needle during the funeral with such grace, inspiration and compassion. It was a perfect tribute for my grandma; a lover of her Jewish culture, a believer in getting things done, not exactly reliant on a lot of "God-talk." Family was Grandma's vocation. And so when it came time for our wedding, Josh and I wondered whether it would be possible for Rabbi Souther to conduct a secular wedding for two gay guys they barely know in a different town...their instant answer, "I'd be honored!" ... WOW! In a world so seemingly anxious to draw lines and build fences to provide for the illusion of order, they find spirit and soul in God's creation of the incomprehensible. I often reflect on the earliest teaching about God when I was a child...Jewish or Catholic, they said the same. God is beyond understanding. Yet somewhere along the journey from childhood to adulthood, we seem to box the divine right into that of our physical world; writing rules and theological dictates in black and white... We reduce the wonder into the benignly succinct. Maybe it's easier to teach, to hold on to, to visualize. Yet C.B. has offered us optimism while staring down the unknowing. They can embrace the complexity and be consumed by wonder instead of fear. We are so lucky to have met such an inclusive soul, a spiritual nurturer. My grandma had a favorite expression, "life is not a dress rehearsal, get out there and live it." Without fear and hesitation, Rabbi Souther inspires us to be on the frontlines of life with courage, kindness and love.
K. P.